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Wednesday, April 4, 2012

My Creative Inspiration:

We all have different experiences or people in our lives that inspire us. These sources of inspiration can influence how we perceive the world around us. My perspective was changed by such an experience my senior year in high school. It is December 16, 2009. I am sitting in the dressing room during musical theater when a police officer comes into the dressing room:


"Adrianne, I need you to come with me."
"Is everything alright?"
"Please grab your belongings and follow me now."
"Okay...."


I am perplexed. I am trying to think about everything I had ever done in my life and could not think of one single thing that could possibly allow me to be escorted by a police officer....With each step on the cracked cement, I racked my brain and memory further. I cannot think of what I did or why I was leaving Forsyth Central High school's parking lot with Officer Wright. I wanted to ask what I did, but instead.


.."Where are we going?" 


Officer Wright shifted in her seat while turning on to Tribble Gap road. She did not seem upset with me, but I could feel a terrible secret that she was suppressing in her grimace. As she was answering my question, I suddenly realized what this was all about. I shuddered and gasped...


"Hailey! But, they said it went fine. What happened?" 


I suddenly began to imagine the horrible possibilities that could have potentially occurred within the hour. My palms began to sweat with my heart racing furiously.


 "I need you to call your father Adrianne." 


I began to pull out my phone. My hands were shaking, my whole body trembling...I dialed my father's number.


 "Ring, ring..."


I held my breath. I clasped the phone with two hands just staring at the link between me and my father.


"Adrianne...are you there????"


I pause...I somehow manage to put the phone up to my ear without dropping the phone.


 "I'm here. Is Hailey alright?"
"No, she's not..."


He proceeds to tell me about how Hailey went into cardiac arrest on the way home from her knee surgery, how she stopped breathing, how she was with mom in helicopter going to Egelston's Children Hospital, and how her precious heart was not beating...


"Are you okay?"


I sob. Not tears that smear your mascara, but tears that soak your hair, clothes,and anything remotely close to you... We pull up to the parking lot where my father is standing.


"Daddy!" 


We embrace. We both sob while trying to support each other. He tells me what happened and that Hailey left without a heart beat...We arrive at the hospital in thirty minutes. I rush into Hailey's room and see her attached to over twenty different tubes and cords.


 "Baby girl, oh baby girl..."


My heart shatters everywhere. I begin to sob again and make my way to the hospital bed. 

"If you were falling, then I would catch you..."



I sing. It is the only thing I can think of. I sing for hours while holding onto Hailey's sweet hand. I am in a state of shock...it is all I can do...


"I love so much my sunshine..."


6 days pass and Hailey is leaving me. My parents agree to release care. I feel drained and hurt. I feel like my soul is attached to this very sweet spirit in the hospital bed. 


"It's time to go Adrianne."


I go kicking and screaming. I sob. I don't speak. It is too painful.Hailey was 15 years old when she left this life. She took with her pieces of my heart and the hearts of those who knew her with her on Monday December 22, 2009. She changed my perspective on everything. Her imprint influences everything I do. All of my creativity and inspiration is for her. It is hers because she showed me how a creative life is the only life worth living.


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